Posts

Showing posts from 2013

Resolutions start....NOW!

Image
I know that the first isn't until Wednesday, day after tomorrow, whatevs...it's soon enough..right? In no certain order... *READ-at LEAST 52 books                     I love, Love, L.O.V.E., to read...but alot of the time I don't get to. I have kid stuff to do, I have tenant stuff to do, I have job stuff to do, I'm just too effin' tired, I'd rather watch something on the DVR..Heaven forbid I workout, ammIright? But anyway...read. At LEAST 52. I have 48 on my bookshelf behind me right now..but I know I've read at least 14 of them. But there are specifics to the 52...like I need to get The Book of Mormon in there at least once. I need to put some classics in there too...love Charles Dickens. I don't want to limit myself to what I usually read..I want to read alot of different things. Really? I'd love to double the goal and hit 104 in 2014..what?! We'll see.                

                                                *Keep it CLEAN
         …

Post Christmas Purge

No real pukin' guys...so this is a safe space.
Although I did almost eat myself sick on spiral ham (aka chewy salt lick)...and day one (um...today) back on the wagon (for the zillionth time)..all I want is a slice of bread..ok..a piece of toast with butter AND peanut butter...let's be honest. But I think I'm craving the bread so it can suck up all the salt in my body...like the trick of putting a peeled potato in a pot of soup if you oversalted...see? see? You learned something huh?
Somewhere between getting home from the cruise, tenant catastrophes, and holidays..I've lost the charger for my camera..so my Christmas pics are blurry iphone pics..and I'm not too happy about that. Esp since this was our first Christmas in our new house. Last year we were displaced b/c the house wasn't ready yet and did Christmas at the in-laws.
Moving on to a couple random topics-
iphone...I know I'm one of the last people on the planet to get one (got it for my birthday in O…

Back at it

Image
Here are a couple of pics, just because I suck at posting pics...and sometimes it's nice to 'see' who is talking to you, amIright? The top pic is myself and my mini-me. Who wants her two front teeth for Christmas. And where my Mother-in-law jokingly says she 'hopes they never come in', I miss the teeth!
Family pic, last day on the ship! 10lbs heavier than when we started (all in my face, bleh!)-but it was an amazing vacation. Hands down best ever. Want to/will do it again..and again..and again. As many times as we can. We all loved it!!

And then back to reality!
I came back to 3 vacant properties, and a message from a tenant stating they were going to be moving out...make that 4 vacant properties. Two of which needed/wanted HUD inspections (read-headache).
Oh..and the 10lbs of cruise weight.
*sigh*
Well...two weeks later I am happy to report that the houses are 'almost' done. I've gotten leases, deposits, tenants, etc figured out and things look *kn…

Stressed is spelled n-o b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g

So I kinda dropped off the face of the earth..again.
I say I'm busy..and I hate that b/c usually people that say "I'm busy" also mean "I'm so important" and me..no..not really..I'm just so legit busy that I want to scream sometimes.
Here is a quick Cliff's Notes version of 'Suze Lately'-
-on the landlord front...1 eviction and the dude is STILL squatting in my house. 2 new properties, and 2 people moving out. Ah and one of the tenants that moved out took it upon themselves to take out the chain link fence while they were at it..suuuuper.
-on the work front (b/c landlording isn't enough right?) I'm up to 3 days one week, 2 days the other. I was calling it a 'part-time' job...but now I'm calling it an 'other job'.
-on the subbing front (job #4), been kinda quiet...which is a-ok. however i do miss some of my teenage friends, and get texts occassionally from my favorite telling me she misses me. Aws.
-on the Momm…

So far.

Technically I've been on Slim 4 Life a week and a half. And I haven't cheated. At all...though I've been tempted.
First weigh in at S4L had me at 194.4 (whomp whomp)
Week one weigh in has me at 185.4
That's -8.8lbs. That's a pretty big deal. Or is should be.
BUT I'm a bit of a bitch to myself.
And you see...185 and me? We're old buds. I've known that number on and off a few times over the past couple of years.
I've known all the 180s fairly well.
So to me..until I hit something other than something with a 18- in front of it..I'm not getting anywhere yet.

I can already tell you that I'm going to end up spending more on the supplements..when I didn't think I would. But my chocolate protein powder Hubs and I keep at home is NOT comparable in ANY way to their Hot Chocolate protein drink. Nope, nope, nope.
They (S4L) encourages 3 snacks a day...but at $16 for 7 snacks I'm using them as more treats or 'get through the afternoon' ty…

Where am I?

So I gave up there for awhile. I'm sure from the lack of postings that is pretty evident.
However I just kinda gave up on documenting..because nothing was happening. There was nothing to tell you.
Husband finally saw that 'yes' I was making an effort, and 'no' it wasn't getting me anywhere and asked me if I wanted to try this uber-popular (and expensive) diet program/place.
And instead of being a total girl and getting pissed that he is actually saying "Yes, I agree, you need to lose some weight"---
I jumped at the chance.
I needed a nudge...and I got a push.
Also I found out that almost ALL of my new co-workers had gone here at some point.
Here is Slim 4 Life.
And although I suck at keeping secrets, I'm not going to tell you everything they tell me.
Here is what I will tell you...
Last Monday I weighed in at 194 (fully clothed, around noon on their scale).
On Tuesday I started the 'prep' phase- a 3 day cleanse (Technically Day 1)
On Wed…

Weigh in Wednesday-Week 5

Image
So do I have better news this week? Meh, kind of.
Today- 189.4 misplaced loss of -.6
At least it's going in the right direction again. I've realized I can't really have 'cheat' days. I mean sure...Hubby lost 70lbs and he uses Saturday as "Fat"-urday..and that's fine. For him, because he's LOST it already. Me, not so much. It seems like that big binge of the weekend sets the next week (and next weigh in) up for failure.
I feel like if I could just get a kick start, I could get on a roll (call me Butter). But I'm not finding that kick that I'm needing.
You know what I did need? Medication. Sometimes you get down and blue and you can't pull yourself out of it. No matter how much food you eat, how much you work out, how many people love you...sometimes you can't by yourself..and that's where I was. Down, down, down. But I'm working on getting better. And I'm actually going to see a therapist soon that deals with mor…

Weigh in Wednesday Week 4

Image
I'm not gonna lie. First, that I hate that phrase. I think it's overused. I also hate "let me ask you a question". Moving on...
Second. I don't want to tell anyone that might be reading this the atrocious number that looked at me from the scale this morning.
BUT it's Weigh in Wednesday- so I'm going to.

Week 4- 190 (*pukes* I hate that 9)
that's up 3.8
Gain, like a colossal one.

However, I have a few things to blame/thank for it. Other than just lack of self control...
We went out of town. I went 'home'. Home to a place where I never have lived, but spent every summer. My Granny's house. Where the smells and the textures flood every sense I have with memories.
Oh, and Granny (at 87 years young) doesn't cook anymore. She hands you some bills and tells you to go pick up whatever you want.
And what did we want?
Top Hat 2 pizza...the one on Q ave. Not Pizza King, not Top Hat on Broad...although I'm pretty sure it's ALL the same co…

Weigh in Wednesday

Image
Week 3--5/15-186.2
Week 2--5/8 -186.2
Week 1--5/1- 186.6

Slow, slow, slow.
Plateau?
I don't know.
(Poet, dontcha know it!)

And this is where I usually give up. Throw my hands up. Head to the nearest McD's. But I'm not.
I'll sigh. And I'll be annoyed (I am annoyed).
But I'm not giving up.
Even though we're going on vacation tomorrow to a land of plenty (of food).


Whirlwind week...and Run #1

Image
Last week was insane. Sorry for the drop off, but it was. I was up at 5 err morning to get ready to make the hour long drive down to KC to help with exams at 'high risk' schools. And me w/out my conceal and carry license. Eeek. Anyway...I survived...AND our crew got SO much done that they don't need me this week. I'm not bummed about that.
However I did miss something...


I'll tell ya, it wasn't great. And honestly I don't expect this week to be better, my eating has been TERRIBLE b/c I let my stress level determine what goes in my mouth. <---BAD habit.
So for week 2- 5/8  186.2
it's down a measly .4 from Week 1. I was pissed and disappointed, but I know it's up to ME to do it and obviously I wasn't doing something right. Despite the fact I had salads for dinner like 3 days that week..should have been worth at least a COUPLE pounds. Come on.

I have been semi-successful in my original goal of stopping it w/the soda. The only soda I had was one …

Sheesh

Image
Anybody remember this movie? I don't think I ever actually watched it..but the gist was nice teacher goes into majorly inner city school, like hard core rough stuff, but makes it out ok.
That's been my week...
sort of.
I agreed to help proctor some exams. And turns out the schools we are proctoring are the rough ones in Kansas City. Like whoa. I mean where I'm from (not exactly Kansas City) subbing is cake. The kids might cuss and little, but that's about as bad as it gets.
Yesterday, I was full on choking on mace from where it had to be sprayed in the halls to break up a fight...twice. I was safe...ish. If you count the "Teachers, at this time we ask that you please close and lock your classrooms doors" announcement that we followed about every third period.
So it's been kinda stressful...and sad.
Makes me very thankful for the type of environment that I'm normally in.

So whew...that's me this week. I think it's punishment for the gorge-fe…

Brain dump

Image
Semi topic-less posting..but in general what's swirlin' round my old cerebral...

1. I love my Ma, something fierce. And yes, I call her Ma. Not Mother, Mommy, Mom, etc. However, when she KNOWS I am trying to watch what I eat, and when she comes over to watch the kids and I get home from work and she's made pecan and chocolate chip cookies. It's impossible for me to resist (and she KNOWS that). Especially with a hot cup of coffee.
(here)

2. I was supposed to sub a full day today. I wasn't feeling it. I was thisclose when I got up this morning to cancelling out and letting some other subbin' schmo have a crack at it. But I sucked it up and went in, to be told by the Para in my class- "you basically have nothing today". Then WHY I am here?? So I talked it over with the main lady and left at 12. I mean, thanks for the opportunity and all, I'm good with the money end of it, but it makes me feel guilty to be paid for nothing..it shouldn't. But it do…

Chug-a-lug

Image
And THAT my friends...is a giant bottle of water.
Subbin' at the HS and this girl had one, and when she told me where she got it..I literally shuddered. The big W. I am not a fan.
1)I used to work there (back in HS)
2) I honestly think I'm kinda agoraphobic and it (going there) freaks me out
3) Open more than 2 flippin' registers when you have 20 of them, mmkay?
However, yesterday my parents needed my help with a transportation issue, and Ma needed to stop in to pick up a script.
Now..even though I'm not a fan..there are a couple good things that happen. I always get to see two of my guy buddies that I used to work with there..they became career W's and that's awesome for them..and it's always good to see them.
The other good thing is the spoiling parents thing. Yes, I may be 30 (bleh) but I am the baby and I have the only grandchildren..so that's like DOUBLE the spoiling. And I don't take too much advantage of my parents (not that they would …

Weight in Wednesday + 10 week challenge

Image
Might just be the kick in the pants I need right?


Today May 1- 186.6 Let's just state..for the record (you can totes tell I used to work with a bunch of attorneys huh?) I HATE the 80s. And I don't mean the neon scrunchie, John Hughes laden, Wham! rockin' 80s. I mean that RANGE. I've been here tooooooo long. And I'm tired of being here. I'll probably piss down my leg w/happiness when I finally see the 170s. Even 179 would be a happy moment...just sayin'.

So here's what I'm doing.. (and a bunch of others too!)


I'm hoping that jumping into a group that is already chock-full of some AWESOME bloggers will encourage me to keep it up.
The mini-challenge this week is cleaning the 'bad' food out of your fridge. And I can honestly say that we don't have alot of bad stuff in the fridge. Seriously. We have a ton of spinach, lettuces, veggies, raw goat milk, cucumber water, green tea. Our fridge it set up for success...I'm just not doing what I…

Brain dump

-up at 5 to shower, to then wait for it to stop raining so I can go out and milk the goats, to them come in and dry hair/do hair/get ready for school.

-subbing 4 out of the 5 this week. *sigh* If I didn't want/need the money so bad I'd be pissed. Instead I'll just be pissy. I mean what happened to the subs like I had in HS? Pop in a movie and you are good to go? Nope...not now. And most of the time the original teachers don't leave their computer log ons so I can't just play around on the computer. It's like they WANT you to work for your money. What? Granted, I'm chomping down some Nora Roberts books like Doritos. 5 in the past 2 weeks. Thanks Subbing! *thumbs up*

-I DVR Dr. OZ and yesterday was all about the Paleo diet. Which to me just seems like Atkins w/out dairy. And you know..dairy probably is part of my fat problem. But it's a coffee thing. Coffee, sweetener, half and half. Not some non-dairy powder. If I wasn't terrified of the caffeine hea…

Dear 46lbs....

Dear 46lbs,

I've been trying to get you to leave for awhile now. I don't want you anymore. And in fact, you pretty much make my life miserable. You consume my thoughts and make me question EVERYTHING. Well, ok..granted you and my wickedly low self esteem have tag teamed this..but still. You aren't helping.
Now, I appreciate your efforts as of lately to at least rearrange yourself to where all my XL shirts fit loosely and my 16 pants are comfortable. But I don't want to be an XL/16 anymore. So you need to go.
It's Spring, and it's going to be a hot summer...I want to wear things so that my skin can get some sun, and maybe even start allowing myself to be photographed again.
Oh and that wedding coming up...it was to Mr. and Mrs., no room for +46 so you can't go. I know some of you will...but seriously. I'm tired and I want you gone. You are bringing me down in SO many ways and I just don't want you around anymore.
If about 7 of you could just, you k…

Wrong way fatty.

Image
So the scale says 185 (wrong way fatty!), which is up from my first post where I was at 181.8 (about a month ago). And it's a pisser. Especially when I feel like I've been trying.
I've been eating less, and still pretty low carb. I did work out for like a week, but then I started subbing a ton and stopped (insert excuses here). I've been taking green coffee bean AND acai berry pills..not that I think they'll work a miracle, but I've found they do kinda stave off my monster appetite. I'm not telling YOU to do it..I'm just being honest with what I'm doing.
I'm just so damn tired all the time. I feel too tired to work out, I feel to tired to even catch up on my DVR or watch a movie (that's a new development). However, I'm never too tired to eat....I wish I were.
NOTHING about weight loss is easy. It all sucks pretty bad.
But one bad mood won't finish me off. But today..I wallow.

You might as well know...

Image
it's a confession of sorts..not one that I'm ashamed of (although I used to be-more on that later)..but here goes it...I've got goats. Yup. Bleating, shedding, milk producing beauties! And here is me in all my erm..glory (?) with one of my girls. Of course they have ridiculous names since my daughter named them. My two milkers (females/nannies who have recently kidded/given birth and I'm able to milk)-are Butterscotch Cookie (Scotch) and Snow White (Snow). I can go totally goat on you..but I won't..but I'm sure that little bits of my vast caprine knowledge will spill over into stuff I'm sharing.  I kinda had a point of putting the pic..I've yet to get a 'full size' pic of my current body status, but even sitting, it's getting better. But more so you can get an idea of me on a daily. Twice a day I'm pullin on my 'barn' boots and headed down to the barn. I grew up doing this and being annoyed with it..but now as an adult who has …

Holy Hangry

Image
source

It's totally a thing. And I had a SERIOUS problem with it yesterday.
Well first let's discuss the amazing Easter lunch I made...quite the spread...spiral ham, deviled eggs, hashbrown casserole (Mother in law made that one), biscuits (canned, I cheated), a giant coconut cake (from scratch, yo), and cheesy corn (oh, sweet Heaven...). I helped myself to ALL of it..well..not the biscuits..I thought "meh, I don't need the extra carbs" and ate a moderate slice of cake. Bah.
Afterwards I was FULL, like slip into a 4 hour nap full (not dirty full like I was on the pizza buffet night), which I was denied (thanks Hubs) due to the fact we had family over. Family that we see ALL THE TIME mind you...anyway.
I thought (in my state of fullness) "I won't eat dinner, I'm good, way too full".
But then around 6...it hit. I was hungry. And I didn't especially want some leftovers...
I specifically wanted pizza...and a Pepsi. Hubs was hungry as well, so …

Wrist way?

Image
So it's weird to be posting a picture of my wrist, right? Well..no..kinda..ok..yes..but I have a reason..here is it..
it's where I notice I've lost weight first. I wish I could say "oh, my thighs look less cottage cheesey" or  "I look less pregnant today". But nope...the wrists have it. Wrists and collarbone. Weird right? I know..it is. But do you have any weird spots that you notice first?
I'm having people tell me lately they can see it in my face. I don't. I still see Edna the big faced girl...like seriously big, ok like a satellite dish(if you ever watched Wings, you'll get it, if not the link takes you to it..skip forward to 1:53). But it's nice of them to say that...maybe there is progress being made, I just can't see it..anywhere but my wrists.

Even though the weight isn't coming off as quickly as I'd like it to, I am finding that my eating habits are REALLY changing.
The other day I was subbin', took the kids so…

Finish the Sentence!

Image
1. If calories didn't count, I would eat... kraft Mac and Cheese, every meal, every day. I don't get sick of it.

2. On my Prom night.... which one? (boom!)--there were 3 my junior year, (I opted out Senior year b/c I graduated early), and I was too busy collecting dates to worry about date protocol, so 2 out of the 3 didn't even get boutonnieres. I think I had the MOST fun at my own school's prom. My date was a guy I worked with that went to a private school that didn't have dances, and there was nothing romantic so there were no strings, or weirdness, just fun. The other two were weird. At other schools with guys that I kinda liked, but felt like the girls (from the other schools) were giving me the stank eye all night..uncomfortable.

3. When I go to the store, I always buy... milk..if the kids don't need it for cereal, I need it in my coffee

4. Family functions typically... are divided and best tolerated with some Xanax. My parents and my in-laws do NOT mix.…

Work it out...

Let's have a little chat about working out at home.

Let's start with the fact that I'm tired (lazy) and don't like getting up in the mornings.
And the fact that I am phob-y about people seeing me workout. Especially Hubs..and that doesn't make sense b/c he's seen my business (literally) at my worse (childbirth x2) and still wants to have sex with me. *shrugs*
I don't like working out with my kids around either. Makes me feel self consious.
So...
Master P fell asleep on the couch...and Little Miss was watching Food Network in the bedroom..so I thought I'd take that opportunity to 'work out'.
My DVD of choice is Walk Away the Pounds...BECAUSE..um..it's easy peasy. You get your heart rate up w/out knowing it, and w/out feeling like you are going to puke. She's perky (almost to the point of annoying) and I feel like she's non-judgy.
I opted for the 12 minute mile...and things were going ok for the first couple of minutes. Until Little M…

Brr.

Image
I'm sick of the snow. My snow eating dog is NOT.
It's REALLY hard to get in the mood to 'move' (aka exercise) when it's snow covered and cold outside! Not that I really like moving anyway. It would work better for me if the weight just fell off. Don't you agree?

Semi recently my Husband lost like 60lbs. Kinda just woke up one morning and decided to do it, and did. But NOW, well now he thinks he is Bob Harper, or Tony Horton and tries to give diet advice. *eyeroll* But his latest "why don't you try this"..I'm going to actually attempt.
We have a wedding coming up June 1..not ours..sheesh...we're almost 9 years in (as of August)..but one of his coworkers. So to share it with you..I have a VERY lofty goal of 10lbs by then.
So 10lbs in a little more than 9 weeks.
10lbs in 68 days.
And I will tell you..it will set the trend for the other weight that I want to lose. I mean if I can lose the 10 in this set time, why couldn't I be able to los…

Sick and Tired

Image
Real life Mommy-ing..right here. And yes..it's not pretty. My hair is stringy and uncurled. My double chin is right THERE. I don't think any amount of weight loss will help with my wide palms though. *shrugs* But Bubba doesn't worry about any of that as long as I will hold him.
We've been sickish around here. It started with Master P (pictured)-strep and scarlett fever, then onto croup. Then Hubs started to get it, but was able to kick it, but them I started to get it...
Me + trying to get sick + 3rd bday party planning/working 3 part time jobs/sharing a bed with 2 kids and a Hubs ='s Full Blown Sick.
I've been drinking Alka-Seltzer w/elderberry in it and sucking on Cepacol lozenges (disgusting, if my throat didn't hurt so bad I would NOT be doing this).
The 3 jobs thing is getting to me...b/c it's really not 3..if you throw in managing our personal rental properties and being Mom/wife..it's like 5. So one of the 3 is going to go. In fact I sent an…

Stress baby, stress.

Image
source

That isn't me. I don't have pretty highlights like that...or a cute suit, and Hell knows my desk isn't that organized. But that look on her face...that dazed, wtf do I do next, frustrated look.. THAT is me.
And it happens alot.
I wish I could be the kind of person who uses stress to their benefit.
Some people get stressed and they clean the house..top to bottom.
Some people get stressed and they can't eat and they lose weight because of it.
Some people get stressed and they bury themselves in a project and are super productive.
Some people get stressed and they head to the gym and exercise off the anxiety.
Me? I'm in the closest drive-thru *beep beep*
The second my stress level starts to rise, so does my appetite. And I slip up. I slip up to the tune of LOTS of oreos (see previous post) and um..McDonald's..after 9pm when I get off work. Eeesh.
Am I alone here?
And yes..I did mess up..big time. But I'm not going to let ONE setback completely throw…

Don't Tempt Me Tuesday

Image
Let's talk about trigger foods. My two biggest culprits are below- Mac and Cheese (blue box please)  Mac and Cheese has ALWAYS been a thing for me. I mean I was raised on it. I've eaten it many different ways (cut up hot dogs in it, chopped onions in it) for many years. It was probably the first thing I ever 'cooked'. But it of course is FULL of carbs, preservatives..and cheesy goodness. It's also a food that my kids eat alot. I did jump on the organic train and get the 'better for you' kind for them. And thankfully it doesn't hit my tastebuds the same as the original did. So today when I fixed them their mac, I was able to 'quality control' it for them to the tune of about 4 forkfulls, versus my normal..just fix two boxes b/c Mama's gonna eat too. I had a chicken breast w/some mushrooms and green beans instead. Meh. Am I full? Yes. Am I happy. Not really.

                        Then you have these guys..again..namebrand only.
I'm not …

Let's begin

Image
This is Kiyo..one of our 4 cats...who thinks my diet/weight loss attempts are hilarious, apparently.
Actually..he's here b/c I don't really have any pictures of me. I stopped willingly being in pictures about eh...5 years ago. Coincidence that my daughter (the divine Miss M) was born almost 5 years ago as well. Then along came my son (Master P) but the weight has stayed. I only last fall (when P was 2) got down to the weight I was when I found OUT I was pregnant with him. And I'm still around 30lbs away from where I was when I got pregnant with M...5 years ago. And around 45-50lbs away from where I'd like to be.
I realized that for about 5 years..I've been in a bit of an 'it's ok' bubble. It's ok that you are fat, you have two small children. Your kids and your husband love you regardless..it's ok...so what does it matter?
But then something sunk in. I'm NOT a happy person. And I used to be...I mean I used to be awesome. But I don't fee…