Thursday, March 28, 2013

Wrist way?

So it's weird to be posting a picture of my wrist, right? Well..no..kinda..ok..yes..but I have a reason..here is it..
it's where I notice I've lost weight first. I wish I could say "oh, my thighs look less cottage cheesey" or  "I look less pregnant today". But nope...the wrists have it. Wrists and collarbone. Weird right? I know..it is. But do you have any weird spots that you notice first?
I'm having people tell me lately they can see it in my face. I don't. I still see Edna the big faced girl...like seriously big, ok like a satellite dish(if you ever watched Wings, you'll get it, if not the link takes you to it..skip forward to 1:53). But it's nice of them to say that...maybe there is progress being made, I just can't see it..anywhere but my wrists.

Even though the weight isn't coming off as quickly as I'd like it to, I am finding that my eating habits are REALLY changing.
The other day I was subbin', took the kids some Starburst, and during the movie we were watching (b/c yes, I'm a sub and we watch movies)-I mindlessly ate like 5 of them. No big right? Um, no..about an hour later, I was convinced I had the stomach flu, or that something was terribly wrong with me. I wanted to puke, but I couldn't. I ached, and my stomach was just spasming (is that a word? is now!) and it was terrible. And the ONLY thing I could trace it to was the candy. Unless one of the 6th graders slipped me something when I wasn't looking...
Then last night we ate at a pizza buffet. Now having recently gotten so drunk and thrown up pizza (hey, honesty right?) I am ok to stay away from it. But this buffet, yea...it had boneless bbq wings...and I am POWERLESS against them. And monkey bread...effin' caramel monkey bread. However, after gorging myself..again..physically ill. Wanting to puke SO bad. My dog (the IW) routinely wakes me up around 1-2am to be let out (annoying, but better than cleaning piss up) and when she did I (again) felt like I was getting the flu..I hurt all over. My feet were swollen and ached, and my head was killing me. I chugged some more water, popped 4 ibuprofen and hit the sheets again (once she'd done her biz). I woke up feeling ok..but not hungry at all.
I subbed today and continually sucked down water, and prayed for the bell so I could pee between classes. When I got out of school I hit Subway for a salad, not because I was terribly hungry, but because all I had had was a cup of coffee and a TON of water. I needed something, right? Then dinner was a protein shake..same for Hubs, he had gorging remorse as well.
So I am NOT proud of myself for eating what I did, but I guess I'm kinda glad that I'm realizing the effects of how that kind of food really messes with my body.
We've got weekend festivities and generally we do a Faturday, but we decided that it was Eat Whatever-Wednesday instead and we are already previewing menus and trying to decide where we are going to eat based on what 'feels' healthiest to us.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Finish the Sentence!





1. If calories didn't count, I would eat... kraft Mac and Cheese, every meal, every day. I don't get sick of it.

2. On my Prom night.... which one? (boom!)--there were 3 my junior year, (I opted out Senior year b/c I graduated early), and I was too busy collecting dates to worry about date protocol, so 2 out of the 3 didn't even get boutonnieres. I think I had the MOST fun at my own school's prom. My date was a guy I worked with that went to a private school that didn't have dances, and there was nothing romantic so there were no strings, or weirdness, just fun. The other two were weird. At other schools with guys that I kinda liked, but felt like the girls (from the other schools) were giving me the stank eye all night..uncomfortable.

3. When I go to the store, I always buy... milk..if the kids don't need it for cereal, I need it in my coffee

4. Family functions typically... are divided and best tolerated with some Xanax. My parents and my in-laws do NOT mix. So we have two separate everythings. Gets VERY exhausting. Two birthday parties for each kid. Two holiday meals *bloats*. So I keep two pills in my pocket at all times. :)

5. I think my blog readers... will come? It's a fairly new blog, but I feel like I'm witty and entertaining and cater to the field of "semi stay at home Moms that kinda feel like they need 'something', and that want to lose a little weight"

6. I'd much rather be..... famous. Point blank. I'd love for people to 'know' me, I'd love to be a house hold name.

7. I have an obsession with.... television. At any general time I have at least 200 things on my DVR. And I get cranky with my children when they get up too early and interupt Mommy's tv time.

8. My work friends.... does my dog count? I'm a stay at homer for the most part. I guess that other teachers at the school are 'kinda' my co-workers?

9. When I created my Facebook account.... my personal one? Mainly just to see what people I went to HS/College with were up to. Now I use it to keep up with people that I don't associate with b/c I feel like I'm a fatty and don't like to do social things. What?

10. My least favorite word is...  it is a phrase actually. "Can I ask you a question?" or "Let me ask you this..."-just ask the damn question! Don't ask to ask!

11. I really don't remember.... a time that I didn't drink coffee. Um..yeah..I started the summer I was 9, when I started spending my vacation with my grandparents. THEY drank coffee...and it was just a good excuse to bond with Papaw in the mornings. We would drink coffee and sit and watch squirrels on the front porch.

12. Justin Bieber....  I didn't even know who he was until Glee did an episode. And I like the Glee cover better



Hungry? Oh that's right..I have a food blog too! At our house lately..we're addicted to Cabbage Confetti. Totally veggie, NO carbs, hardly any calories. Check it out!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Work it out...

Let's have a little chat about working out at home.

Let's start with the fact that I'm tired (lazy) and don't like getting up in the mornings.
And the fact that I am phob-y about people seeing me workout. Especially Hubs..and that doesn't make sense b/c he's seen my business (literally) at my worse (childbirth x2) and still wants to have sex with me. *shrugs*
I don't like working out with my kids around either. Makes me feel self consious.
So...
Master P fell asleep on the couch...and Little Miss was watching Food Network in the bedroom..so I thought I'd take that opportunity to 'work out'.
My DVD of choice is Walk Away the Pounds...BECAUSE..um..it's easy peasy. You get your heart rate up w/out knowing it, and w/out feeling like you are going to puke. She's perky (almost to the point of annoying) and I feel like she's non-judgy.
I opted for the 12 minute mile...and things were going ok for the first couple of minutes. Until Little Miss caught on to what I was doing and had to do it with me. And just let me tell you...my almost 5 year old is not the most coordinated. Neither am I. So I stepped on her a couple times and let out a couple frustrated noises that scared her off, so I had to (keep walking) and try to apologize to the kid who (I felt) should have just let me walk in peace.
At which point I trip backwards (I didn't fall, thankfully) over our Irish Wolfhound (pictured last post) who thought it was a good idea to take a nap in the floor about 18 inches behind me. But I recovered..and kept walking.
To be interupted again..moments later by the UPS guy. I swear, UPS and Fedex must have an effin' camera set up somewhere in my house..b/c EVERYtime I try to work out at home..they show up.
Also..for the first time since we built our house I'm kinda missing carpet b/c the 'clomp, clomp, stomp, stomp' of my walking on the finished concrete floors vs carpeted flooring was almost worse than the sound of my boobs slapping together on the sidesteps in the video.

Workout fail...
But at least it was one?

Brr.

I'm sick of the snow. My snow eating dog is NOT.
It's REALLY hard to get in the mood to 'move' (aka exercise) when it's snow covered and cold outside! Not that I really like moving anyway. It would work better for me if the weight just fell off. Don't you agree?

Semi recently my Husband lost like 60lbs. Kinda just woke up one morning and decided to do it, and did. But NOW, well now he thinks he is Bob Harper, or Tony Horton and tries to give diet advice. *eyeroll* But his latest "why don't you try this"..I'm going to actually attempt.
We have a wedding coming up June 1..not ours..sheesh...we're almost 9 years in (as of August)..but one of his coworkers. So to share it with you..I have a VERY lofty goal of 10lbs by then.
So 10lbs in a little more than 9 weeks.
10lbs in 68 days.
And I will tell you..it will set the trend for the other weight that I want to lose. I mean if I can lose the 10 in this set time, why couldn't I be able to lose the other 30.
I guess that is part of my stigma on losing weight. I don't have 100lbs to lose. I don't have 80lbs to lose. I've got maybe 40. And yes..40 is alot right now. But if I lose 10, then it will only be 30..and so on.
So his 'try this'...mainly has to do with getting rid of soda. I'm a die hard diet soda drinker. Period. He thinks that should stop. But if it is a matter of calories in/calories out and it's ZERO calorie soda...hmmm..
But then plan is protein shake for breakfast, no carb lunch, no carb dinner.
10lbs should be doable, HE says. He who has lost 60lbs...

Monday, March 18, 2013

Sick and Tired

Real life Mommy-ing..right here. And yes..it's not pretty. My hair is stringy and uncurled. My double chin is right THERE. I don't think any amount of weight loss will help with my wide palms though. *shrugs* But Bubba doesn't worry about any of that as long as I will hold him.
We've been sickish around here. It started with Master P (pictured)-strep and scarlett fever, then onto croup. Then Hubs started to get it, but was able to kick it, but them I started to get it...
Me + trying to get sick + 3rd bday party planning/working 3 part time jobs/sharing a bed with 2 kids and a Hubs ='s Full Blown Sick.
I've been drinking Alka-Seltzer w/elderberry in it and sucking on Cepacol lozenges (disgusting, if my throat didn't hurt so bad I would NOT be doing this).
The 3 jobs thing is getting to me...b/c it's really not 3..if you throw in managing our personal rental properties and being Mom/wife..it's like 5. So one of the 3 is going to go. In fact I sent an email this morning to that effect..and it seems cowardly..and I would have called, but I literally CANNOT find my phone. I know I had it last night by the bed b/c I was texting with my Ma (who is uber worried about her over worked sick gal-ME!), and I 'thought' I put it in my bedside drawer, but if I did, the little Samsung popped out legs and ran away..b/c I can't find it. And in my sicky state I don't really feel like looking for it.
And is it THAT bad that I really don't care? I mean I do...if I have an emergency I can't call out (but can hit the emergency button on our alarm pad..that would work). And if a tenant needs to get ahold of me, they really can't..that could be a problem. But let's just hope it doesn't come to that. I'm going to hope that the phone will resurface and I won't have missed any major issues. And that the kids will be content with PBS and the ipad while I make myself some soup and try to rest a bit.
And I'm giggling as I type that.. b/c any Momma knows that it won't happen.
Newsflash..Mom's aren't allowed to get sick.


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Stress baby, stress.

                                                           source

That isn't me. I don't have pretty highlights like that...or a cute suit, and Hell knows my desk isn't that organized. But that look on her face...that dazed, wtf do I do next, frustrated look.. THAT is me.
And it happens alot.
I wish I could be the kind of person who uses stress to their benefit.
Some people get stressed and they clean the house..top to bottom.
Some people get stressed and they can't eat and they lose weight because of it.
Some people get stressed and they bury themselves in a project and are super productive.
Some people get stressed and they head to the gym and exercise off the anxiety.
Me? I'm in the closest drive-thru *beep beep*
The second my stress level starts to rise, so does my appetite. And I slip up. I slip up to the tune of LOTS of oreos (see previous post) and um..McDonald's..after 9pm when I get off work. Eeesh.
Am I alone here?
And yes..I did mess up..big time. But I'm not going to let ONE setback completely throw me off like I used to. I'm going to get back up, dust the french fry salt off my shirt, continue using my McD's soda cup as a water vessel, and go on.
Or at least that is my plan for now.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Don't Tempt Me Tuesday

Let's talk about trigger foods. My two biggest culprits are below-
 
Mac and Cheese (blue box please)
 Mac and Cheese has ALWAYS been a thing for me. I mean I was raised on it. I've eaten it many different ways (cut up hot dogs in it, chopped onions in it) for many years. It was probably the first thing I ever 'cooked'. But it of course is FULL of carbs, preservatives..and cheesy goodness. It's also a food that my kids eat alot. I did jump on the organic train and get the 'better for you' kind for them. And thankfully it doesn't hit my tastebuds the same as the original did. So today when I fixed them their mac, I was able to 'quality control' it for them to the tune of about 4 forkfulls, versus my normal..just fix two boxes b/c Mama's gonna eat too. I had a chicken breast w/some mushrooms and green beans instead. Meh. Am I full? Yes. Am I happy. Not really.

                        Then you have these guys..again..namebrand only.
I'm not trying to be a food snob on the namebrand vs storebrand/other brand..but they are the original for a reason. Growing up I don't remember eating sweets that much. I even worked at an ice cream/fast food place in my teens and didn't eat that much. We had cake on birthdays. Candied sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'd buy a couple bags of candy on Halloween or Easter and when it was gone, it was gone. But when I got married..I married a man who has an Oreo addiction. And it became the norm for date night to consist of stopping at the store, buying a gallon of milk and a pack of cookies. It continued after we had our kids. And it continues today. However, today it's more of a once every 3-4 months thing. Last weekend I messed up though..determined to get the deal..I bought 2 packs instead of one. So I did cap off my healthy chicken w/two cookies. Btw...2 is the serving size for the peanut butter ones..and 3 is the serving for the original. And I think that's ridiculously small.

What foods trigger you?

And notice..I did have a mouthful of mac and two cookies. I heard a long time ago, and I don't know if it is true, or if I just think it is-"If you are craving something, give partially into the craving. You'll end up eating way more calories trying to compensate for what you really want, than if you just eat a little bit of what you crave."
Do you think it's true?

I know for me and the mac today...I made it at the same time that I made my lunch..and I know that if I hadn't have had a couple bites when  I did, I would have gotten some EasyMac at work..or worse yet when I get home from work tonight and the family is asleep making a pot all for me and then sneakily doing the dishes like it never happened. So sure..my mac and 2 cookies cost me about 200 calories I didn't intend on, but I'd like to think they saved me alot more than that in the long run!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Let's begin

This is Kiyo..one of our 4 cats...who thinks my diet/weight loss attempts are hilarious, apparently.
Actually..he's here b/c I don't really have any pictures of me. I stopped willingly being in pictures about eh...5 years ago. Coincidence that my daughter (the divine Miss M) was born almost 5 years ago as well. Then along came my son (Master P) but the weight has stayed. I only last fall (when P was 2) got down to the weight I was when I found OUT I was pregnant with him. And I'm still around 30lbs away from where I was when I got pregnant with M...5 years ago. And around 45-50lbs away from where I'd like to be.
I realized that for about 5 years..I've been in a bit of an 'it's ok' bubble. It's ok that you are fat, you have two small children. Your kids and your husband love you regardless..it's ok...so what does it matter?
But then something sunk in. I'm NOT a happy person. And I used to be...I mean I used to be awesome. But I don't feel that way anymore. And I'm one of those people who how I look on the outside really DOES play into how I feel on the inside. I wish I could be one of those women who loves my body because of the things it has done-carried and delivered two babies, nursed both those babies for 15 months..each...but I can't.
I think I'm a good Mom, I'm told by others that I'm a great Mom, but I want to be an awesome Mom. And unless I get happy..it won't happen.
I'd like to have a better relationship with my Husband. I mean, we're alright..but when I'm miserable about myself, it shows in my moods..and he thinks he has something to do with him (and it doesn't), then we bicker b/c he just doesn't get that it's not about him, it's about me..and it's just an annoying and unhealthy cycle for a marriage.
So where my long term goal is 45-50lbs. Right now I'm going to set a series of mini goals.
My main goal right now is to be in the 170s by Miss M's bday in April.
And I'm close..or um..at least I was until we decided to gorge ourselves at a Sushi place AND Texas Roadhouse yesterday. I know alot of that is just water right now...freakin' A, my hands are swollen this morning. But this morning I'm back on track. I've had my coffee (LOVE my coffee) and I'm about to have my shake. And I'll get this done.
Since Friday is the day that I weigh in when I actually 'count' it..I'll let you know where I was at-
3/8/13- 181.8 lbs (see getting SO close to the 170s)
Miss M's bday is April 3rd. So...4lbs (just to be safe, I know that literally all I need is 2..but I want to be more securely in that range).
Now..I don't like the numbers on the scale..BUT last summer..I was 199 (6/25/12 via my sparkpeople tracker).
That's about 18lbs in 9 months. And really even though it's slow..that's good, right? However, I want the rest of it gone...more quickly.
I've got a friend's wedding coming up in June (will be next mini goal), I've got Hubs and my 9th anniversary in August (another mini goal), then 31st birthday in October. I'd LOVE to be 'done' (at least with the weight loss portion, more maintaining) by then.
So please, stick around! Hang out with me! I'm going to try my best to keep it a daily to help keep myself on track!
Thanks for stopping in!