Showing posts from April, 2013

Brain dump

-up at 5 to shower, to then wait for it to stop raining so I can go out and milk the goats, to them come in and dry hair/do hair/get ready for school.

-subbing 4 out of the 5 this week. *sigh* If I didn't want/need the money so bad I'd be pissed. Instead I'll just be pissy. I mean what happened to the subs like I had in HS? Pop in a movie and you are good to go? Nope...not now. And most of the time the original teachers don't leave their computer log ons so I can't just play around on the computer. It's like they WANT you to work for your money. What? Granted, I'm chomping down some Nora Roberts books like Doritos. 5 in the past 2 weeks. Thanks Subbing! *thumbs up*

-I DVR Dr. OZ and yesterday was all about the Paleo diet. Which to me just seems like Atkins w/out dairy. And you know..dairy probably is part of my fat problem. But it's a coffee thing. Coffee, sweetener, half and half. Not some non-dairy powder. If I wasn't terrified of the caffeine hea…

Dear 46lbs....

Dear 46lbs,

I've been trying to get you to leave for awhile now. I don't want you anymore. And in fact, you pretty much make my life miserable. You consume my thoughts and make me question EVERYTHING. Well, ok..granted you and my wickedly low self esteem have tag teamed this..but still. You aren't helping.
Now, I appreciate your efforts as of lately to at least rearrange yourself to where all my XL shirts fit loosely and my 16 pants are comfortable. But I don't want to be an XL/16 anymore. So you need to go.
It's Spring, and it's going to be a hot summer...I want to wear things so that my skin can get some sun, and maybe even start allowing myself to be photographed again.
Oh and that wedding coming was to Mr. and Mrs., no room for +46 so you can't go. I know some of you will...but seriously. I'm tired and I want you gone. You are bringing me down in SO many ways and I just don't want you around anymore.
If about 7 of you could just, you k…

Wrong way fatty.

So the scale says 185 (wrong way fatty!), which is up from my first post where I was at 181.8 (about a month ago). And it's a pisser. Especially when I feel like I've been trying.
I've been eating less, and still pretty low carb. I did work out for like a week, but then I started subbing a ton and stopped (insert excuses here). I've been taking green coffee bean AND acai berry pills..not that I think they'll work a miracle, but I've found they do kinda stave off my monster appetite. I'm not telling YOU to do it..I'm just being honest with what I'm doing.
I'm just so damn tired all the time. I feel too tired to work out, I feel to tired to even catch up on my DVR or watch a movie (that's a new development). However, I'm never too tired to eat....I wish I were.
NOTHING about weight loss is easy. It all sucks pretty bad.
But one bad mood won't finish me off. But today..I wallow.

You might as well know...

it's a confession of sorts..not one that I'm ashamed of (although I used to be-more on that later)..but here goes it...I've got goats. Yup. Bleating, shedding, milk producing beauties! And here is me in all my erm..glory (?) with one of my girls. Of course they have ridiculous names since my daughter named them. My two milkers (females/nannies who have recently kidded/given birth and I'm able to milk)-are Butterscotch Cookie (Scotch) and Snow White (Snow). I can go totally goat on you..but I won't..but I'm sure that little bits of my vast caprine knowledge will spill over into stuff I'm sharing.  I kinda had a point of putting the pic..I've yet to get a 'full size' pic of my current body status, but even sitting, it's getting better. But more so you can get an idea of me on a daily. Twice a day I'm pullin on my 'barn' boots and headed down to the barn. I grew up doing this and being annoyed with it..but now as an adult who has …

Holy Hangry


It's totally a thing. And I had a SERIOUS problem with it yesterday.
Well first let's discuss the amazing Easter lunch I made...quite the spread...spiral ham, deviled eggs, hashbrown casserole (Mother in law made that one), biscuits (canned, I cheated), a giant coconut cake (from scratch, yo), and cheesy corn (oh, sweet Heaven...). I helped myself to ALL of it..well..not the biscuits..I thought "meh, I don't need the extra carbs" and ate a moderate slice of cake. Bah.
Afterwards I was FULL, like slip into a 4 hour nap full (not dirty full like I was on the pizza buffet night), which I was denied (thanks Hubs) due to the fact we had family over. Family that we see ALL THE TIME mind you...anyway.
I thought (in my state of fullness) "I won't eat dinner, I'm good, way too full".
But then around hit. I was hungry. And I didn't especially want some leftovers...
I specifically wanted pizza...and a Pepsi. Hubs was hungry as well, so …